


Full Moons and Flashbacks

by explodingsnapple



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Canon Compliant, Gen, Marauders Friendship (Mentioned), POV Remus Lupin, Protective Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin & James Potter Friendship (Mentioned), Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship (Mentioned), Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, i can't believe that's an actual tag in this fandom lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 15:13:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20473112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/explodingsnapple/pseuds/explodingsnapple
Summary: On the first day of September 1993, Remus Lupin boardsThe Hogwarts Expressfor the first time in over ten years. But unlike his previous experiences on the train, what happens during this journey is far from ordinary, and not only because it happens to be a full-moon day.





	Full Moons and Flashbacks

**Author's Note:**

> This is a rewrite of an old fic of mine, which itself was inspired by [this](https://actualbellatrixlestrange.tumblr.com/post/90881749873/remus-and-harry-make-me-so-sad-think-about-the) Tumblr post. Happy Back-to-Hogwarts Day!

_1 September 1993_

Remus Lupin arrives two hours early to Kings Cross Station, just as he had done on the 1st of September every year as a child. He is dressed in a black robe, clean but slightly patched up, and carries only a small trunk and a wand – concealed within his pockets – with him. Almost out of habit, Remus crosses the station quickly and inconspicuously, glances over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching, and walks straight through the stone barrier separating Platforms 9 and 10. It is only then that he allowed himself to relax, if only for a brief moment.

As soon as_ The Hogwarts Express _arrives, he boards via the back entrance and goes straight to the first compartment on the right. He sits in his usual spot near the window with his back to the lavatory, stowing his suitcase on the very edge of the rack overhead (as if he is leaving space for the luggage of others). He then pulls out _ Hogwarts, A History _and begins reading the first chapter for the thirtieth time. Of course, the book is aged, the robe faded, and the suitcase worn, all clear indications that it is no longer the 1970s, and Remus is no longer a boy.

As he reads, a wave of nostalgia washes over him. He spent the majority of the last decade struggling to find employment, so Dumbledore’s offer to teach his favorite subject is truly a blessing. At the same time, however, he also spent so long suppressing memories of Hogwarts and the friends he made there – nearly all of whom are now dead or rotting in prison – that even the momentary reminiscence makes him feel sick.

Remus quickly drinks a sip of his homemade anti-nausea potion and leaned back in his seat. The stress of moving and preparing lesson plans and buying for supplies and arranging for wolfsbane potion and writing to Madam Pomfrey and, oh, by the way, _his former best friend escaping from Azkaban to kill his other best friend’s son_ has seemed to multiply the magnitude of his Approaching Full Moon symptoms by a dozen. He is _not_ looking forward to tonight.

* * *

Remus awakes to the sound of the compartment-door sliding creakily open. Only then does he realize that, as a professor, he was probably assigned an individual compartment away from the students. But then again, why would children _choose_ to sit here? James had always insisted on it, of course, but only because “no one in their right mind would _ want _ to sit at the back of the train, right next to the toilets.” 

Remus considers introducing himself to them – after all, they will most likely be his students – but decides against it when he realizes that they have chosen the seats farthest away from him. _Perhaps,_ he thinks, trying to maintain a positive outlook, _ they also have some pranks to plan and want privacy to do it._ He can’t help but feel self-conscious, though.

Still, he can’t resist a peek at the newcomers. While they store their belongings away, he opens his eyes _just_ enough to see inside the compartment without them noticing and catches a glimpse of bright red hair, one pair of long legs, and several overflowing book-bags. An odd sense of deja-vu envelopes him and he quickly shuts his eyes again.

“Who d’you reckon he is?” one of them – a boy – hisses as they close the door with a _thump._

“Professor R.J. Lupin.” a girl’s voice whispers back. Remus twitches, startled. _ How did she know? _

“It’s on his case,” the girl explains. Remus resists the urge to smile. _ Lily's always been the smart one,_ he thinks, before drifting off to sleep again as the train starts moving.

* * *

“…sell that sort of thing in Dervish and Banges, magical instruments and stuff. Fred and George told me,” the boy says; the mention of his old favorite shop shakes Remus awake, although he continues pretending to be asleep. To his amusement, the girl immediately starts talking about the history of Hogsmeade, only for the boy to ramble on about Pepper Imps and Sherbert Balls, completely ignoring her. On one hand, Remus can sympathize with the girl – he too was fascinated with the ancient village, something his friends never understood – but on the other, listening to them talk is so reminiscent of James and Lily’s arguments that part of him can’t decide if he wants to continue eavesdropping or leave the compartment and never return.

Suddenly, a second boy’s voice enters the mix. Apparently, he couldn’t get his permission slip signed. _The kid could just use the Marauder’s Map to sneak in, _ Remus muses, before immediately dismissing the thought from his mind. That’s impossible, anyway, because the map was confiscated years ago. He’s not even sure what prompted the thought in the first place. Although, something about this boy’s voice sounds oddly familiar, as if –

"The Dursleys didn't sign my permission form, and Fudge wouldn't either," the boy complains. At this, Remus almost bolts straight up, but he catches himself just in time. _Dursley _is the name of that pompous idiot that Lily's sister (Begonia?) is married to. Remus had only met the man once, but it had been enough for him to thoroughly despise him. If the boy’s uncle is a Dursley…

No, it can't be.

Harry Potter is in his compartment.

* * *

In hindsight, even though Remus had planned to meet Harry at the Welcome Feast or perhaps during their class together, running into the boy on the train was probably the best-case scenario that could have happened. After all, how awful would it be if Harry turned out to be rubbish at Defense, and as a result, took an instant disliking to him? Not that that scenario was very likely, considering he _is_ the son of James and Lily, but still. 

To his relief, the idea of sneaking Harry into Hogsmeade is brought up and subsequently shut down almost instantly. At least Remus doesn’t have to worry about the boy’s safety outside of the castle’s walls, and he is immensely grateful that Harry will never come into possession of the Map, even though it _should_ be his by birthright. 

By the sounds of it, the girl had decided to release her pet cat from its basket to the chagrin of the first boy, and Remus takes advantage of the resulting commotion to discreetly turn his head to the other side while still pretending to be asleep. The new angle allows him to get a better look at the children, but he doesn’t dare open his eyes yet. He doesn’t want to make things awkward, after all.

When the Trolley Witch arrives, the children decide he’s too soundly asleep to bother with waking him up. While they look through the cart of goodies, he briefly opens his eyes and nods faintly at the Witch in greeting – she always had an extra chocolate bar for him when he was a student. To his surprise, she winks back, and Remus smiles. 

He silently listens to their chatter, straining to hear Harry's voice whenever it comes up. The boy speaks calmly but surely, just like James, and, from what Remus picks up from the conversation, Harry is also quite the quidditch player (though a Seeker, not a Chaser). 

In another lifetime, Harry’s parents would still be alive and he would have grown up loved and cherished, not grossly neglected. He and Neville would have had joint birthday parties every July instead of spending them alone. Peter wouldn’t be dead, Sirius wouldn’t be in prison, and Harry would know Remus as his “Uncle Moony,” not as “Professor R.J. Lupin.” But now, as they sit together in the same compartment, Harry doesn’t even recognize him, and the thought makes Remus’s heart ache.

The children speak quietly but excitedly, and all the while, Remus pretends to sleep. Eventually, as the train continues rolling on, he feels his eyes go heavy once again. 

* * *

Remus awakens for the third time to the sound of a sneering voice, not unlike the one Snivellus used when he wanted to irritate Sirius. “I heard your father finally got his hands on some gold this summer, Weasley. Did your mother die of shock?” says the voice.

Remus fights down his rising anger and prepares himself to jump in and establish discipline if necessary. He doesn’t have to, though, because the boy closest to him – Weasley, presumably – stands so violently that the Cat’s basket lands on Remus’s foot, causing Remus to give a small and involuntary yelp of surprise. It seems to work, though, because the newcomers leave soon after, clearly unwilling to pick a fight in front of a professor.

Weasley sits down angrily, saying, “I’m not going to take any crap from Malfoy this year. I mean it. If he makes one more crack about my family, I’m going to get hold of his head and —” 

“Ron, be careful!” interjects the girl, probably due to Remus’s presence. However, Remus struggles to hold back a laugh. Not only is it astonishing just how like Lucius the younger Malfoy is, but Ron also seems to have inherited many characteristics from both the Prewett and Weasley sides of his family. These kids – Harry, Ron, and the girl – will be alright, as long as they stick to each other.

* * *

The train rattles on, the skies getting increasingly darker outside and the winds roaring through the rain. Remus starts to get hungry, but he’s too lazy to go up to the driver and get some food. He’ll be able to eat as much as he wants at the Feast anyway, something he had been looking forward to ever since Dumbledore offered him the job. 

Suddenly, the train lurches to a stop, tossing luggage out of their racks. The compartments around them erupt in noise as students try to figure out what had happened; at the same moment, their door opens and another student stumbles his way in, stepping on people’s feet and sitting on the cat as he does so. Remus has half a mind to “wake up” and tell them to settle down, but he realizes that he would probably be doing more harm than good, so he stays where he is. 

The new boy, Neville (_ Longbottom? _ Remus wonders), finally finds a seat, and the girl opens the door once again to go talk to the driver. As soon as she does so, though, Remus hears a scream and two names being shouted. Alarmed, he leaps from his seat, wand in. He’s about to race out of the compartment when two girls enter, both clutching their hands to their foreheads. Remus relaxes slightly. 

Quickly, Remus conjures some portable flames in the palm of his hands, illuminating the small compartment. He does a quick headcount of the people inside: the tall, redheaded boy must be Ron and the girl next to him, his sister, Ginny; the girl across from Ginny must be Hermione, the one who initially reminded him of Lily; the smaller boy next to her must be Neville, who, Remus realizes with a start, is bears a striking resemblance to Alice. Finally, his eyes rest on Harry, who looks so similar to his father that Remus’s heart lurches, but his eyes – his eyes, from their bright green color to their defiant stare and the kindness held deep within them, are Lily’s and Lily’s alone. 

Remus barely manages to hold back tears as he slowly makes his way to the door. 

Before he reaches it, however, it slides open and Remus finds himself face-to-face with a Dementor. Suddenly, he hears a crash behind him. Remus turns, his hand with the flames still pointed at the creature. To his shock, he watches as Harry slides to the floor, his face pale and body shaking. 

Quickly, Remus conjures a Patronus, using the memory of Lily and James's wedding. It isn’t quite strong enough to take a corporeal form (old memories don’t work quite as well as fresh ones) but it does the trick, and the dementor leaves the cabin. Hermione and Ron help Harry back into his seat, and Remus quickly hands him a giant slab of Honeydukes that one of them had purchased from the Trolley earlier. Harry takes the chocolate but doesn’t eat it. 

"What was that thing?" Harry asks, clearly terrified but still trying to put on a brave front for the others. _ So like James._

“A dementor,” Remus replies, giving chocolate to everyone else. “One of the dementors of Azkaban.”

He is almost certain of what the Dementors had shown the boy – only one memory could cause such a violent reaction from a child so young. Inside, he is seething. How _dare_ the driver let them onto the train with no warning?

Not knowing what to say or how much he should reveal without further embarrassing Harry or scaring the others, Remus turns back towards the door. “Eat,” he repeats. “It'll help. I need to speak to the driver, excuse me –”

It is going to be a long school year, that is for certain.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you guys for reading!


End file.
